Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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