So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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