yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
