he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
