you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just found a bag of teeth...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
