He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
