just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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