my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
