After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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