I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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