i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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