butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
