She said her name was "party"
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
