do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Still dying that you shit outside
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
