she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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