Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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