It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
