That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
