I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
