oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
