i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
