Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Idk if I want to put a bra on
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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