So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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