is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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