you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
