he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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