420 ftw
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
