Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
