what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
