But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
...so i touched it.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize