"it" just moved
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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