I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Someone shattered a urinal.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
