i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
