dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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