try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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