you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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