He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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