I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
