Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
