we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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