Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
