he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
