can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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