508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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