I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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