I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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