Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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