Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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