She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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