I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
